27 February, 2008


Why do I = Uranus? Because I am gaseous like unto Uranus. It's true. The radioactivity I picked up through eating street food in Ukraine (and licking my fingers on the metro) got into my gastrointestinal system and corrupted it. Now, when I eat dairy, grains, fruits, vegetables, proteins or fats I get massively explosive gas. And it's not gas like, "uh, I got me a bit of gas," it's more along the lines of, "I just consumed 9lbs of Olestra fat substitute and I need a zip tie and some wine corks to contain this thing!" It's intense to say the least. One cheese stick is a great enough catalyst to ruin a romantic evening or a reverent church gathering.
So, to protect the health and mental well being of the ones I love, I am going to take the Activa Challenge. They say that if I eat it for 2 weeks and don't see better natural digestion, I'll get my money back. Now that's a promise NOT full of hot air!


Leslierush said...

Logan...I laughed so hard reading this. I laughed so hard Lee got curious so I had to read it to him too. So Thank you for giving us a fun little chuckle. ps. let me know if the "activa challenge" works, I've always wondered about it. Maybe I could make Lee try it.

Melody said...

NO WAy!! You have to keep us updated!

somebody said...