01 June, 2009

Break A Leg



Alright, I gotta pound this post out while its still fresh in my noggin and I'm feeling brave.
I woke up late today, around 9:30, when I was supposed to be walking into the library to study. I had softly committed to my wife that I would get up early all this week so that I can complete the online courses I am enrolled in before our first baby arrives in less than 6 months. In short, I have 5 classes to finish before the end of the summer, but at the pace I am going, I should have them done by early 2011 at the soonest. Panic.
So I meandered out of bed and got in the shower. The shower, if you read my blog, is a place of deep reflection. A temple, a shrine, a holy of holies as it were, where all the physical and mental clutter in my life gets washed down the drain for but a moment while I stand naked, vulnerable and safe in the confines of its cheap, plastic, opaque curtain. For 3o minutes two times a week (you read right), I feel like I can do anything while I am in that shower. Anything is possible if I put my mind to it. I want to attack life with a furor reserved only for the christian crusaders and the craziest of Taliban. I am unstoppable. I am motivated. I am excited and I am prepared to act.
Then I turn the water off, watch the dirty water swirl slowly down the half clogged drain and remember that I am weak. I am unfulfilled and I cannot do the grandiose things I set forth in my head. For every ounce of strength my wet nakedness brings, the cold drying of my towel sponges it away.
But today was different.
The glass ceiling saw its first crack.
The baby is coming soon and tomorrow I turn 26.
More than three and a half years of marriage has left me happily married, but woefully out of shape and over weight. I let my passions for life die slowly as I packed on the pounds, got busy with school and realized my paycheck actually meant more than new climbing gear and video games. My hours added up to paying rent and buying gas. My school work equated to a secure future for my family and better times to look forward to. And with that, I stopped taking responsibility for my own happiness and got sucked into a vortex of responsibility, waisting the precious few hours a day I actually could spend for myself.
But that's over. Today is a day of change. I am going to take accountability for myself and get this dusty old Logan back in gear.
To start, I'm going to post SOMETHING everyday on the blog. It may be a picture or something small, but the blog has to start picking up steam.
So stay posted. If I do actually stick to this new life decision, the biggest change will hopefully be weight. If it happens, I'll start posting pictures. You guys can make fun of my, cheer me on or point and laugh at my epic failure.
-When I was playing football as a 16 year old junior in HS, I weighed 209lbs.
-After football, my healthy, static weight was 230lbs.
-When I got home from my mission, I weighed a fairly active 250lbs.
-Today (this is kinda embarrassing to say), 5 years after getting home from my mission and after almost 4 years of marriage, I'm rocking 300lbs worth of man-boob swaying mass.
I miss mountain biking. I miss rock climbing (who wants to belay a 300lbs rope snapper?). I miss hiking and camping on a whim.
So that's it. Time to change. Time to get in shape and time to get my head above water and start enjoying life again. Weight loss, burning through school work and finding time to work enough to pay for rent. It's really not too hard. I just have to do it.
Cheers.

13 comments:

Becky said...

Yea! I am excited that you are planning on blogging more often. And I will cheer you on! Just post what your activity plans are and I will hold you accountable. Nate's diet plan is joining the CHP. They kick your butt into gear. Good luck.

Joey Shepherd said...

Holy crap Logan! I wrote up something very similar to this a couple weeks ago that I was planning on posting on my blog. I was too afraid to post it though. I feel the exact same way as you. It sucks being fat. I don't do all the things I love to do because of my weight. YOU have inspired me to post it. I promise you I will post it tonight on my blog. I'll keep up on your blog if you keep up on mine. Thanks Logan!

Joey Shepherd said...

oh and this is Kim talking

Logan said...

I figured. If Joey lost weight, he'd be dead.

And thank you Becky. I got your phone call today too. I will call you back as soon as I get a change. Thanks!

Billy Reano said...

I think this is awesome what you are doing and the perspective you have. You will be a stronger father as you become more confident again. Love it. I'm going through a similar process, but I have different, goals of course.

Walk HARD!

jen said...

Props hommie. I want you to be the funky hipster family I know you will be if you feel comfortable in your own skin. And by that I mean a lot less hygiene blogging.

You can do it!

Two Little Mittons said...

Go for it! I'm rooting for you, along with everyone else! Now we expect updates on your progress. P.S. it's weird you are going to have a baby soon, but fun!

Hebbs said...

you go boy! It is so weird how you forget about yourself...you really need to take 'alone time'. I believe it is healthy. Something happens when you get married, you forget your old dreams...it happened to me, but slowly I remember them. Cant wait to see your new posts! I am going to be a nutritionist by the end of this year, so if I can be any assistance let me know! ~Do or do not, there is no try!

Hebbs said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON JUNE 2ND...WERE GETTING OLD!

Leslierush said...

GO LOGAN!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Logan said...

Thinks Leslie. And yes Tiff, we are getting old. Thanks for the birthday wishes.

Robert and Lisa said...

Logan....you're my hero. You can do anything you put your mind to (I've seen it happen!) Good luck and Happy Birthday tomorrow!

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