25 June, 2009



Man, I am feeling majorly suck-tastic today. The worst part about feeling the way I feel, is that I feel guilty complaining about it. I've created a new complex for myself: I feel nervous complaining about the stuff I complain about because I hear people judging me for my wussy-ness.

I know, I know, its hard to believe that I, Logan, would have any difficulty whatsoever when it comes to complaining about anything and everything. But what I have come to discover (or at least accept in part) is that I am a total baby. That's right. The things I complain about are trivial to the normal human. They are commonplace and routine to about everyone but me. But these are the things I can't seem to handle; the simple things. Responsibility, hard work, stick-to-it-iveness and patience are all words that bring me to my knees. But you do them everyday. You deal with the realities of life, livery and the pursuit of a paycheck on a daily basis and with relative ease. Sure they are hard and more often that not, not a bucket of fun. But you do them, move on and start again tomorrow. So why do I always feel overwhelmed? Why do I feel like the Octomom with an 8x case of Postpartum Depression? Why can't I grow up, stand up straight and take it like a man? Didn't becoming and Eagle Scout teach me anything?

So to the employers in the real world (with money to pay a n00b):

I just want to write. Set me up a cubicle with a monitor, computer and adult sized keyboard (fat fingers) and I'll write myriad creative stuff for you (this sounds like a plea and I think it is.) Put me in the office kitchen. Put me next to the office bathroom with the backed up toilets that never seem to flush right, but that everyone insists on using because its secluded and private. I'll sit there. I'll type for you. I'll write.

But please, for the sake of the gods, don't make me be in college anymore! Don't make me finish American Heritage online (yes I waited to take it this long; stuff it), don't make me finish my last 4 obligatory English classes. Just put me in the corner, hand me the creative brief and insist that I leave the other employees alone. I'll do it. I'll leave them alone. I seriously will. I just need a paycheck bi-monthly and a poster of that kitten hanging onto the rope (the one with the frog in the storks mouth works too.)

So this is my plea: let me complain and then help me escape the tyranny that is the American higher education system. I need work and I need it now.


Much love,
Logan "Tough As Al Dente Pasta" Tanner

5 comments:

dead as a doornail said...

hey duder... I have the same complex as you. TO the maximum. But I love listening to people complain and talkin it out... so, you know Im around.

Hebbs said...

ok logan I am in the library laughing out loud because you are a total wussy-ness master and I love it. I hate college too. just stop. I did. bye

ambsace said...

college. university. yeah, this is why i didn't go. even an 11 month "technical program" after a 6 year education hiatus just about did my skull in.

...granted, i work in retail.

but this will change. eventually. i have patience. and lots of beer.

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