04 October, 2010

Kill Me Now, I'm A Bad Person

What a janky mess this blog has become. Once the sparkle of my eye, I have now let it degenerate into that neighbor's yard filled with old lawn mowers and pickup trucks that the homeowners association so abhors. 
But so much has happened since I last blogged, I just don't even know where to begin. So many ups, so many downs and so many THOUSANDS of miles traveled. 

I've sent a brother off to Germany to teach religion. I started a blog about that whole shebang too and left that little blogging adventure to rot and die alone like everything else I've neglected. 

We bought a car and put over 10,000 comfortably traveled miles on it in about 6 months time. We hit up Portland in it for the second time this summer and then took the long way home to Utah via Monterey, CA where we visited some friends in the Air Force and had a generally fun, relaxing time. 

While traveling, my carefully laid plans to land myself a job panned out and I excitedly hitched my wagon to the number one advertising/design shop in Salt Lake City. You may have never heard of them, but that is exactly what they want you to believe. We are the talented millionaire son/daughter you never knew you had. You went off to war in the 60's and 50 years later, you get sucker punched in the throat by some feisty, cranky, millionaire son you apparently fathered and forgot about. We come at you with a left hook so quick, you're on your back with our bare, stinky foot in your mouth demanding you pay attention to us from now on. You oblige of course. 

What was that last bit about? I'm on a bunch of medication for obesity, depression, vitamin D deficiency, ADHD and sleep deprivation. I should probably go back and read that madness, but...moving on. 

Olin, the child of my baby mamma, is near the stage of walking and is currently ripping down and ingesting night lights, errant spoons, Chapstick tubes, bits of crumbled deodorant and gum wrappers faster than we can keep up with him. He's 10 months old and I've completely forgot he existed at least twice so far while I was tasked with watching him. He didn't get hurt, at least not as far as I am willing to admit, but who's to say what bits of garbage he's Hoovered up off the floor while I accidentally turned a blind eye?

So that is that my friends. Things are on the up and up and we are happy to announce that we are doing well. We fight less, kiss more, blame each other less, help each other more. I'm referring to my wife and I if that wasn't clear. And with this positive uptick in life, we prepare to take over the world...finally. I'm still aiming to own my own helicopter. I'd be sad if in 5 years I didn't have a nicer car than the 1996 Buick Regal I drive today. 
Really, what more is there?

So with this comes a healthy and much needed abandonment of my attempt at lazy Tumblr blogging and a renaissance of the blogger account. I'll bring you back up to speed best I can and hopefully do my lonely brother in Germany a favor by informing the world about his goings on, as they are very interesting. 

I hope you'll stay tuned and belittle me to tears if I dare try and fail at this again. I love to write and I love listening to myself talk, so really, I need this more than anyone.



Kyle Gene Burke said...

Good to see a post! That is quite the living you have done since you have last blogged.

I don't know you at all. But I enjoy reading your blog. So I'll stay tuned.

Anonymous said...

Bravo, what necessary words..., an excellent idea

McKenna said...

That was too long. I didn't even read it.

Love, McKenna

McKenna said...

Alright, I'm kidding. You got a job??? Awesome.. feel like shedding the luck? I'll be looking for one soon enough.

And what you said about your little guy: hilarious. "hoovered up" Your killin' me smalls.

Kookieduck said...

Continue to babble - it makes for fun reading!