29 October, 2009

Woah...



Woah...I just realized I have to find a job. It hit me like a wave of nausea that spins into a vortex of fear trying to shoot out my hind parts. Yikes. I just got the shivers saying "yikes."

The Cramer Krasselt Halloween Party is about to begin and no matter how much I want to see the assortment of Balloon Boy costumes that I know are about to drift by, I somehow just don't care. I feel deflated (a pun). I want to curl up under my desk and pull a couple office chairs up and a roller file cabinet to block the entrance so I fell safe and hidden. Sigh. I just choked on that "sigh."

I'm a copywriter. I love to write. I love to come up with fun ideas. When I was a kid, I used to sit on the toilet in the bathroom for hours and pitch faux commercials to an audience of towels and toothbrushes. I'd explain how when you combined our product, symbolized by handsoap, with a square of toilet paper, magical things could happen. Stains would disappear, unsightly scars and moles would vanish and that little spot of emptiness in your soul would be filled with overflowing joy.

But those days have escaped me. I play games on my phone or iPod Touch on the toilet now. Hand soap and toilet paper are used only for their prescribed purposes. My stains, scars and moles remain and that little patch of empty inside of me is not overflowing. In fact, that little patch of empty feels rather vacuous right about now. It's consuming me slowly.

"Buckle down, put your nose to the grindstone, get to it and just do it" are phrases I throw at myself, hoping they'll stick like bologne slices to a white board. Bologne to a white board they are not though. They hit and slide down, falling to the floor to be forgotten until garbage day. I have Lou Gehrig's of the soul.

5 comments:

Steve said...

Cheer up, Charlie. Give us a smile.

Yeah. Not having a job is not fun. Best of luck to you.

Goddess on Training Wheels said...

First of all, they stick like pickles to a menu board (but maybe only if you worked at Wienerschnitzel.)

Second, I'm glad you were a powder room pitchman. It somehow exonerates me for all the commode commercials I made as a child.

Anonymous said...

*Looks at calendar*

Seriously? Nothing for two weeks?

Matthew Tiemann said...

Logan, i'm going to need you to put your creative hat back on. While its easy to wallow in your own pity, I wouldn't advise prolonged exposure. You write well and some of us out here actually enjoy it. Get back to blogging! Whhhupssshhhh! (cracking whip sound)

Anonymous said...

I know you have stuff to blog about. Now get to it.