12 January, 2009

The Bromance Thing


I love MTV. I'm an avid watcher of The Hills and as of late, The City with offshoot-shocker Whitney at it's big city helm. It's the same formula and it's weak sauce, but I'm hooked. The only thing different between the two shows is that I now notice how short Whitney's skirts are. I always thought of her as somewhat of a good girl; a preacher's daughter of sorts, making Semi-Attractive-Christian-Girl-Does-Fashion look hot and humble all at the same time. Nowadays, to my wife's dismay, all I see is her long legs shooting for the heavens like the Tower of Babel, terminating impossibly late into a ridiculously short skirt. Apparently, like Barbie, she's not got much to hide.
Now what does this have to do with bromance you might ask. Well I was talking about MTV and there is a show called BROMANCE on MTV...and Brody Jenner is friends with a bunch of people on The Hills...etc, etc, etc. So I guess there was some kind of connection between that beginning paragraph and the whole topic of this blog entry. But honestly, more than anything, I just needed to get that Whitney business of my chest because I think my wife is starting to get a little weirded out about how much I bring it up. One can only pause the Tivo so many times in curious exasperation, pointing and gasping, before others start getting a little annoyed.
So on to bromance it is. What is a bromance? It's nothing. It's not a real word. It's a conjunction of "Bro," like brother, and "mance" found in the real word, romance. A bromance is a nonsexual relationship created between two men who want to go public and be mutually exclusive with said friendship; but not mutually exclusive in the sense that no other friendships will be excepted between and amongst the two individuals. Simply, the individuals want to a stronger definition for their nonsexual, nonhomosexual male relationship.
It is kind of a paradox. I mean, what's a guy to do when he likes someone more than just an acquaintance but not so much as to be his lover? And what if a standard friendship is simply not enough?
"Dude, I want to go to the next step in our relationship while still maintaining good ground with my girl. What can we do?" says one guy.
"Dude, I think what your asking for is a bromance. It's where two dudes have a relational bond stronger than just a friendship," says the other guy.
"THAT IS SO US! OMG!" replys the first guy.
"It's on then bro," the second agrees.
"I think you mean, 'It's on...bro-MANCE!'" coyly retorts the first in a joyously liberated tone.

And there you have it, a bromance. If you watch The Hills, you might be familiar with Speidi. Speidi refers to Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag: "Sp" from Spencer and "eidi" from Heidi. When you've just got way too many messages piling up on your Blackberry, your Twitter account has been neglected for hours and you haven't even had a chance to surf over to Perez Hilton, you don't have time to be saying FULL names like Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. And in the same spirit, some friggin' time-crunched genius put together "bro" and "mance" and gave us straight guys out there one more excellent option when it comes to male bonding and DTR (defining the relationship.) I know I've got friends out there who are just dying to find a more specific relationship nitch with me. Gary, my cousin's husband, works for the Jazz and is a quality friend worth stepping it up a notch with.
"Yo Gary, this has been on my chest forever. Put down that XBOX controller and have a serious listen at this. I was wondering if you'd like to move forward in our relationship and have a bromance. Is that cool?" I'd offer awkwardly.
"Bro, I thought you'd never ask. Come here and give me a brug," he says.
"What's a brug?" I ask apprehensively.
"It's a bro-hug. A hug between bros," he says. "Now get over here you big teddy bear!"
And that's that. A bromance.
Find one.

13 comments:

Sara said...

YES! Brody Jenner is just such a stud and not at all annoying and unappealing!

The Bowldens said...

your blog is the funniest thing i have ever read!

jen said...

Elimination in the hot tub is the bomb.

Leslierush said...

Never seen it...only seen previews. Personally I think he looks like a frickin retard though. Can't wait to see what you have to say.

Joey and Kim said...

Is this a real show?

Jeff said...

So, if we had a "Bromance," would you kind of be like my "Britch?"

Leslierush said...

Who's jeff? That comment made me laugh for hours...britch haha

Logan said...

First, yes Bromance is a real show on MTV.
Second, yes Brody Jenner is a stud. Very hot. Quality bromance material.
Third, yes Jeff (Aucoin I assume) I would be your britch. I'm glad you've caught on to the contraction-making madness.

Sara said...

I'm pretty sure this got longer since my first comment...Because I couldn't have missed the hilarity that ensued following the picture the first time I saw this post.

Two Little Mittons said...

Couldn't Bromance stand for Brody Romance also?....just a thought. I'm totally freaked out about the show because that is what I thought it was before I read this. I thought it was with women. With men...hot tub? That's creepo.

Two Little Mittons said...

Couldn't Bromance stand for Brody Romance also?....just a thought. I'm totally freaked out about the show because that is what I thought it was before I read this. I thought it was with women. With men...hot tub? That's creepo.

jen said...

Oh my gosh, I am seriously LAUGHING MY BUTT OFF at that part about Gary. You totally have a bromance, why else would you stay up all night together?! And by the way, people with moral fiber don't read Perez Hilton. I went cold turkey when he ripped into the church over prop 8.

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