02 December, 2008

The Fabulous World of Soap



You know what smell I hate? I hate the smell of hotel bar soap.
Hotel soap just smells down right strange. Not only does it feel waxy and dry out your skin, it just smells foul.
My wife uses body wash, the kind that comes in a bottle, so her need for bar soap is essentially nonexistent.
I on the other hand, cannot clean myself with body wash alone. It feels wasteful. I buy a $5 bottle of Axe body wash, dump out a dollop and get no farther than my armpits and the rug on my chest before the lather runs out. By that point, I have to refill to do my arms and stomach. Then again for below the waist. Then again for below the knees and feet. The feet are separate. They deserve and require extra attention.
But with bar soap, you just run the gamut with bar in hand and by the time you're done, *POOF* you're clean from head to toe.
Whenever we run out of bar soap, I loathe being forced to lather with body wash alone, so I crack open the cabinet and dig through the spider webs to the back where there lies a clear plastic bin filled with hotel shampoo and soap.
It is truly a last resort because without bar soap, I just end up cleaning the important parts, or "the hot spots" as I call them. Some places don't stink even after a week. Other places stink after just a day. Those spots...those spots are "the hot spots."

...where was I going with this? I honestly can't figure out where I was trying to take this post.
Anyway, enjoy showering, enjoy whatever vehicle you use to get yourself clean. And next time you're in a hotel, take special note of the bar of soap. Look at its appearance, how it feels and how it has a nasty, weird unisex scent that is neither offensive nor beneficial to man or woman.