20 November, 2008

Why I Need To Be Rich



I realized today that I need to be rich.
It's not so much that money will bring me happiness, (although it will) it's what I avoid that I really would look forward to most. There are certain things I don't want to be part of my life; certain things I don't want at all in fact.

I don't want to have to wear a walkie talkie all day for work.
I don't want to have to own a phone that chirps so that people can talk to me.
I don't want to have to ever use the loop on the leg of carpenter's jeans.
I don't want to have to work so hard that I have to shower daily to avoid disease.
I don't want to have to bend over at work ever (literally, not figuratively.)
I don't want to have to own or wear a bandanna against my will.
I don't want to have to take lunch when a whistle blows.
I don't want to have to take a tool belt off to use the potty.
I don't want to have to wear gloves ever at work.
I don't want to have to ride a tram/train/shuttle/bus from the parking lot at work.
I don't want to have to risk any kind of physical or mental duress at work.
I don't want to have to get paid every other week for the rest of my life.

Now this list is sure to insult, but I assure you, I look down on no one who's job requires these things. I am simply emphasizing my complete lack of excitement should any of these things be required in my future work. I respect any and all parties who deal with items from this list in their daily work, and in fact commend them for their patience and willingness to do the things that I cannot.
Tally ho!
Cheers!
And he's a jolly good fellow.
Keep up the good work folks because I sure don't want to have to do it.

2 comments:

jen said...

I have one to add, Gary wants a job where he doesn't have to be on the phone all day. I'd just like to have a job where my butt doesn't fall asleep.

Jeremy and Sara said...

"I don't want to have to bend over at work ever (literally, not figuratively.)"

So...figuratively is okay, then?