22 July, 2008

Came across something interesting today after trying to find a bathroom secluded enough to use...

"Paruresis is a kind of social anxiety disorder that is found in the people of both sexes. Known by different names, such as pee shy, shy kidney or bashful bladder, this problem makes the sufferer uncomfortable to urinate in places like public restrooms. Paruresis is one step ahead of shyness, and it leads to physical consequences."
-courtesy searchwarp.com
"...leads to physical consequences"? Crap. What's that supposed to mean?! Well, I guess I shouldn't fear these consequences too greatly as I can actually pee in public. That is to say, I am not 100% "pee shy." Oh sure, it's a bit awkward peeing next to someone, especially if you know them and they insist on talking to you or looking at you or elbowing you, etc. while you're trying to do what you gotta do. No, my problem lies in the other use for the bathroom. Yes, I have a problem with numero dos.
For the second time this month, I found myself in a panic, Zune in hand, trying to find a bathroom that wasn't either 1) in use, or 2) populated by people studying outside the bathroom door. The bathrooms here on campus have been inundated by sports camp kids who have come to hone their lacrosse or tap dance skills. They practice in the hallways outside the bathrooms. They change in the bathrooms. They hang out and talk in the bathrooms. And for me, that just won't do. The soothing sounds of Zune music and noise reducing ear buds can only go so far. Sure they help me pretend like I am alone and no one else can hear my symphonic concert of wind and percussion instruments. Not to be graphic, but a public restroom is one of the least sound proof places I can imagine. Music puts me in my own world, but when all is said and done, and I walk out of there, I can just hear peoples thoughts...

"Wow, he was in there a long time."
"He took his iPod in? Geeze, must be serious."
"Man, I could here that guy wipe like 40 times. What did he eat!?"
" Did he flush twice? I'm pretty sure I heard him flush twice."
"Woah, is that the same guy that walked in 25 min ago?"
"Oh, so that's where that splashing and grunting was coming from."

Come on people! Stop judging me! This is hard enough! Can't you study elsewhere? Do you REALLY have to sit outside the bathroom, quietly studying your human anatomy book? Gosh, I just hate it.
Let's just recognize this condition, accept it, and help others who suffer by being courteous in anyway we can, accommodating their discomfort where possible.


Joey & Kim said...

I always do a flybye to check for an empty bathroom. I also use it at the times of the day that are less populated.

Joey said...

I always do a flybye to check for an empty bathroom. I also use it at the times of the day that are less populated.

Leslierush said...

Logan you make me laugh. Not that I don't take your problem very seriously but your honesty is just awesome.

*Kelly* said...

Have you tried the bathrooms down one level? They are usually much quieter (I go in search of the best secluded bathroom where ever I'm at!) And thanks for the laugh, you always have the best blog entries!

somebody said...