06 June, 2008

Why Bluetooth Makes You Suck

Bluetooth makes you suck, because it makes you look stupid. That's a generalization for sure, but unless you are wearing just the right outfit, you look like a moron. What's the perfect outfit? Nearly undefinable actually. What we need to do to define the perfect outfit is to determine what isn't perfect. Let's begin.

Shorts. Don't wear shorts with a Bluetooth headset.
Beard. Don't have a beard or a goat with a Bluetooth headset.
Socks. If we can see your socks, don't wear a Bluetooth headset.
Sandals. If you are wearing sandals, don't wear a Bluetooth headset.
Sunglasses. If you are wearing eyewear that doesn't improve your vision, don't wear a Bluetooth headset.
Hats. If you are wearing a cap, fedora, bowler, or a fez, you cannot wear a Bluetooth headset.
Tuxedo. This should be obvious, but don't wear your Bluetooth headset.
Suit. Yes, believe it or not, you look like a goob if you wear a nice suit with a Bluetooth headset.

I think that is fairly comprehensive. Jeans, slacks, sport coats, spectacles, etc seem to be acceptable if you really want to wear a Bluetooth headset.
I, for one, wore shorts today. And sunglasses...and my Bluetooth headset. I broke the rules and I feel like a total goob. So, if you saw me today, I'm sorry. I took it off as soon as I got out of the car.