26 June, 2008

Post Haste


I'm in a major funk as far as blog posts go. I keep starting posts and then saving them as a draft and then deleting them because I don't like where they are going. I think I have started 2 or 3 in the last couple days that just started sounding or feeling weird and got off track. My heart wasn't in it. It didn't flow naturally and when it doesn't flow, you know it ain't no good. It's frustrating, it really is. For as mindless, immature and irrelevant as my posts often seem, I find blogging rather therapeutic. Knowing that people (very few) read my blog certainly is taken into consideration when I write, but in all reality, I write for me. I write just to see what comes out. One of the posts I started today was about my inner dialog I have with myself 24 hours a day, nonstop. It's fascinating and annoying all at the same time. It's especially troublesome when it's time to go to sleep. So sometimes it feels like the only way to get all that mumbling crap out of my head, is to put it onto the page. I think the reason I enjoy the blog better than just a notebook is because the banter in my head feels like a conversation and when you write in a private notebook, that conversation becomes a dead end. I might read it, but the thought process becomes finite. When I blog, somehow it feels like my writing lives. People can comment, they can refute, they can complain and they can agree. The words become an organism that can grow into other words and other conversations and ideas.
Fun stuff. In fact, writing this, I already feel relieved. Just maybe this was the ointment to cure my funk.